we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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