Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Randomize
