xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
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