Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
