I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
