he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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