on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
