Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
