Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
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