he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Randomize
