Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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