I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
