Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
