eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
