these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Randomize
