No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
