dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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