can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
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