Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
