Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
