My pussy is not your playground.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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