honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
