So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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