ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
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