yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
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