I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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