so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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