Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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