just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
