oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
