All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
