Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
I will be naked everywhere
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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