Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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