I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Randomize
