Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
Randomize
