my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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