I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Randomize
