My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
