she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
