dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Randomize
