You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
