you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
