took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Randomize