Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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