he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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