that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Randomize
