whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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