i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
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