so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
