hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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