Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
