You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
bring money and cleavage
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
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