ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
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