I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize
